Quote of the Day (Christopher Buckley, With a Satiric Mini-History of Irish Monks and Alarm Clocks)

“500-875—Irish monks introduce the concept of the ‘alarm’ clock during their missionary travels through heathen Europe, banging spoons on pots over their heads every morning precisely at 5:45 a.m., while simultaneously shouting biblical passages in Greek and Latin. The monks are able to reckon the time accurately by the morning steam rising off cow pies. This practice of ‘rude awakening’ (exsomnolentia molestias) is not broadly popular among their converts and results in a number of on-the-spot martyrdoms.”—American satirist Christopher Buckley, “A Short History of the Hotel Alarm Clock,” in But Enough About You: Essays (2014)