TV Quote of the Day (‘Big Bang Theory,’ on The One Place Sheldon Feels at Home)

Raj [played by Kunal Nayyar] [leading Sheldon through guided Indian meditation]: “All right. Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home. Where is that?”

Sheldon [played by Jim Parsons]: “Sim City. More specifically, the Sim City I designed, Sheldonopolis.”

Raj: “Okay, you’re in Sheldonopolis.”

Sheldon: “Where exactly? Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons?”

Raj: “Whatever you like.”

Sheldon: “I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.”

Raj [exasperated]: “Fine. You’re in Sheldon Square.”

Sheldon: “Really? This time of year? It’s a bit nippy.”

Raj: ‘Then, put on a sweater.”

Sheldon: “Suppose I could run downtown and pick up something at Shel-Mart.”

Raj: “Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.”

Sheldon: “You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.”

Raj: “You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!”

Sheldon: “Look, I didn’t turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.”

Raj: “All right. You’ve paid for a sweater, and you’re in Sheldon Square.”

Sheldon: Hang on. It’s a cardigan. I have to button it.” [stops] “Oh, no!”

Raj: “What now?”

Sheldon: “A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me. If the children can’t run, leave them behind. Oh, the simulated horror!”—The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 18, “The Pants Alternative,” original air date Mar. 22, 2010, teleplay by Eric Kaplan, Richard Rosenstock, and Jim Reynolds, directed by Mark Cendrowski