TV Quote of the Day (‘Frasier,’ on His Youthful ‘Rug of Love’)

[Dr. Frasier Crane storms in with a copy of "Slow Tango in South Seattle."]

Frasier [played by Kelsey Grammer]: “I can't believe this!  I simply can't believe this!”

Martin Crane [played by John Mahoney]: “What are you bappin' about?”

Frasier: “This, this book!  It's written by a man I knew.  He's taken an incident from my own life, something I shared with him in confidence one night; he's turned it into this trash!"

Daphne Moon [played by Jane Leeves] [notices]: " ‘Slow Tango’? Well, I just started reading that. You mean to tell me that young man is based on you, Dr. Crane?”

Frasier: “Yes, he is.  But did Thomas Jay Fallow have the grace to thank me? No! My name isn't even listed in his acknowledgements.”

Martin: “What's it about anyway?”

Frasier: “That is not important.”

Daphne: “It's about his first time.”

Frasier [sarcastically]: “Thank you, Daphne.”

Niles Crane [played by David Hyde-Pierce]: [innocent] “Your first time doing what?”

Frasier: [sarcastically again] “Changing a flat tire!"

Niles: [realizes]: “Oh!”

Martin [chuckling]: “So this whole book is about the night you conceived Frederick.”

Frasier: “Very funny, dad.  I'll have you know that wasn't my first time.”

Martin: “Hey, I'm happy to know it wasn't your only time!”

Niles: “Just who was this charitable lass?”

Frasier: “That is not important!”

Daphne: “His piano teacher.”

Martin [startled.sitting up]: “His piano teacher?”

Frasier: “Thank you again, Daphne!”

Daphne: “It's not like it's a secret, it's all right there in black and white.  About your awkward ‘teenage lunging’ and how you used to call your chest hair your ‘Rug of Love.’"—Frasier, Season 2, Episode 1, “Slow Tango in South Seattle,” original air date Sept. 20, 1994, teleplay by Martin Weiss, directed by James Burrows