Quote of the Day (Humorist Andy Borowitz, on a More Likely New Conspiracy Theory)

“WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Conspiracy theorists believe that the Republican Party did not die from natural causes but was instead the target of an elaborately planned killing, a leading conspiracy theorist has confirmed….

“ ‘Because the Republican Party is one hundred and sixty-one years old, it’s assumed that it was time for it to die,’ he [conspiracy theorist ‘Harland Dorrinson’] said. “The truth is, that’s exactly what the people who killed it want us to think.’”— Andy Borowitz, “Conspiracy Theorists Say Republican Party Did Not Die from Natural Causes,” TheNewYorker.com, Feb. 18, 2016