“[A] dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and
to turn around three times before lying down—very important traits in times
like these. In fact, just as soon as a dog comes along who, in addition to
these qualities, also knows when to buy and sell stocks, he can be moved right
up to the boy's bedroom and the boy can sleep in the dog house.”— Robert
Benchley, "Your Boy and His Dog," in Chips Off the Old Benchley
(1949)
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